Sunday, September 23, 2012

Georgia Jewel-Rash and Toe Jam City

The Georgia Jewel seemed like it would be an easy 35 miler....Well why not? I've ran Mtn. Mist, Stump Jump, Savage Gulf, Twisted Ankle, and Dizzy Fifties. Well I was sadly mistaken.

It all started the previous day when I asked the Holiday Inn desk clerk to give me a wake up call the next morning for 4:00 a.m. Later that night I thought that as a backup I should set my phone alarm also. Siri...Yes Janice's Lover (siri), wake me up at 3:55 a.m. Ok you big stud (siri). Next morning Siri wakes me up at 3:55. I told Janice that the wake up call will be at 4:00. She responded..."This clock says 4:55"....WHAT THE CRAP! My phone did not change time zones. The Hotel did not give me the wake-up call. It was 1 hr before the race and I had to shower, body glide up, dress, eat, fill my camel bak, pick my nose, and try to do you know what and make it to the checkin before 5:30.

It's pitch black and everyone is wearing headlamps... and the race starts. Scott Schlapman takes off...Sarah Tierney, Rebecca Flournoy Reynolds and myself start out easy. Sarah is feeling giddy and leaves Rebecca and myself. 1.3 mile climb up a paved road we enter the woods for about 100ft., then a steep dirt road (cruel and unusual punishment on the way back). We enter the single track and people are hittin' the ground because for the next couple of miles it is a rock garden. After about a mile on the single track I catch Sarah and blow by her. I am passing people left and right. I'm in my element feeling great.
Scott and Sarah
At around mile 6 this lady pulls off the side of the trail, drops her britches and begins to change her oil right there. Obviously I look to see what is going on. Here is the issue...remember I said it was pitch black...well as I turn to look at her, so does my headlamp. So its obvious I'm looking at her cause my headlamp is high-beaming her squatfest. I did not see any of her "business" thank goodness. Daylight is penetrating the woods and we can finally ditch the headlamps. Everything is going great...Sarah is nowhere in sight, which means I am beating her, which makes for one happy Cary. Around mile 15 I catch this guy wearing headphones and pass him. Well he decides to draft in my super speed. Have you ever met those people that cuss a lot? Not only cuss a lot but do it while wearing  headphones which means that are cussing and talking real LOUD. Well this thoroughbred was one of them. At about 1.75 mile from the turnaround point the lead runner passed us. We came down the hill to the 17.2 mile turnaround point. As I was getting my camel bak on guess who shows up? Ms. "Hey everyone I'm engaged" Sarah Tierney, and Ms. "Hey I'm running the 50 and you suck" Rebecca Reynolds. So me and Cuss Daddy start trekking back up the mountain and Sarah thinks it would be cool to pass us. Cuss Daddy and myself run the flats and walk the hills. Finally Cuss Daddy decides to lead for a minute...I let him go. You know, I realized after about 20 miles I prefer to be by myself anyway. By this time I have had 3 Aleve and about 100 ounces of water and EFS in me. I was craving pure unadulterated water. I decided to break the race up in my mind by the aid stations. I was longing for the 10 mile aid station. The more tired I got, the more I stumped my toes. My left quad started fluttering teasing me like it was going to put me in the fetal position. I pressed on. Next stop mile 5 aid station. BEGIN THE SUCKFEST! Rock gardens and rolling trails galore.
The trail kept going and going. By this time I was stumping my toes often. I settled in my mind that it was ok to walk. I did not care anymore. Finally I break out of the woods onto the dirt road. Tell me....what sick individual thought it would be cool to make people downhill on a dirt road and paved road for 2 miles to the finish? Trust me, it was not pleasant. There was no one in sight. I look back often on the road to see if anyone was coming....all of a sudden at about a 1/4 mile from the finish, two jackwagons scare the crap out of me as they pass. Finally, I cross the finish line hoping my pancreas is still attached. Scott took 6th place overall. Sarah was the 2nd Female finisher and I came in at 24th overall. It wasn't until the trip home and the Aleve was wearing off that I discovered the raw places on my body. Congratulations to my friend Rebecca Reynolds for completing the 50 mile and Martin Schneekloth (Shh-knee-clote) for finishing the 100.


  1. Great report! That's a hard day's work.

  2. Funny report dude but the tummy pic may have been a little much... ha

  3. I had some other raw marks I could have posted!

  4. Great report, Scar Belly. Congratulations on finishing this beast. You should probably buy the lady dinner that you spotlighted. It would be the least you could do.

  5. I probably do owe her at least a lunch...