Sunday, January 27, 2013

MTN MIST 2013-Proposal, Manstrual Cramps & Pippie Longstocking's

Huntsville's premier trail race Mountain Mist 50k proved to be a day of records, broken bones, busted sandals, mud soaked bodies, agony and defeat. So before we get into the race I need to make a couple of announcements...Will said I could not write anything that would make him cry or he would quit reading my blogs...And I want to say thank you Lord. I prayed for a great race and got it.

Approximately 350'ish runners began to line up for the race. Not me of course...I'm sure you can guess where I was. Anyway, from my stall I could hear Suzanne Taylor calling everyone to line up. So I perform a couple of ordinarily illegal moves and head outside to the start. I see Blake on the microphone thinkin..."Is he about to sing our something..." then I see Sarah Tei freakin out doing cartwheels and back flips. Then I realized what just happened...The doctor saved one of Blake's toenails....Ah just kiddin. That honker proposed and she said yes.
Photo by Gelmis
My friggin watch won't sync and then the gun fires. I begin trying to run conservative however I know if I am too conservative that I will get caught in a train on Cold Springs. Jason Shattuck is behind me checking out my behind along with a mustache lady. Right off the bat I find myself behind Kris Whorton and Michael Scott and I think "Oh crap...I'm too fast." Then we hit Mtn Mist and I catch Christy and Dana, "Oh Shark...I am too fast." I'm not gonna say which one but my Stud Glasses kept fogging up and I think one of them had poot porridge the night before. I'm just sayin. We pass the first aid station and begin our decent on Warpath. I go right and Christy and Dana goes left...bam, I'm in front now. I DID NOT want to be in front of them. In a split second I almost stopped and let them pass. I chose to rush Warpath and take advantage of the downhill. For the first time in my life this would be the last I would see of them in a race. I hit powerline and every step was like running with cow patty's molded to your feet. It makes you run like a midget in a sprint (no offense to my midget friends...if I was to have any).
Photo by Gelmis

I weave through Goat trail and come to 3-benches. There is nothing like coming to an aid station and having people call your name. According to the time I realize that I am fast and think I may hit the 17 mile aid station around 2:45, however I am feeling great so I keep pushing. Around Logan, Keith, through Stone Cuts and down Sinks to Mtn Mist again. This blonde chic was hot on my tail through Cold Springs. I beat her to mile 17 aid station with a time of 2:50. Papa Tony Alexander and Dougie Doug greeted me as I began my last 14 miles. I take off ahead of the chic and not recognizing her from around here I anticipated Toll Gate slowing her down...and it did. Surprisingly I caught up to veteran ultra-runner Wayne Heckler and was behind him on High Trail. By this time my pace began to take a toll on me. I felt myself slowing even on Bluffline which I normally crush. I still manage to stay hot on Wayne's tail and grind through Bluffline. At the Railroad aid station an Angel (Robin Giles) sent from the Lord himself had a bottle of Hallelujah Dew. Jim Giles told me that I was in about 57-58th place. WHAT THE FRUITCAKE? This pumps me up. I take off and know that I can crush Railroad. I actually pass Wayne and then it happened...No, no, not what your thinking...There was Pippie Longstocking II.
For those of you who don't know the Pippie's...Mary and Star are two 16-18 year old ultra-runners. These girls beat me every friggin time. I catch them on races, pass them but they always end up beating me overall. Today is my day! I pass #2 on a creek section and 'accidentally' push her into the creek. Well, I thought about it anyway. I pass her and am on fire. I am ahead of her, blonde chic, and Wayne. We merge to Alms house and Wayne and Blonde chic passes me...BUT WAIT!!!! it possible? I caught Pippie #1 and passed her. Kinda sad I'm excited about passing 2 teenage girls, but don't judge me, these aren't ordinary girls. I hit Waterline and begin the suckfest. My night visions of running Waterline in runderwear and paisties was only a fantasy. Waterline sucks at mile 22. I keep looking back anticipating Pippie I & II, Dana, and Christie. Well whadya know. Pippie I catches and passes me at the top of Waterline and frolics right past me. All of a sudden my calves started fluttering and twitching. I was cramping all the way up to my mangeena. I had been taking salt every hour however the cramps were severe. We reach the 24 mile aid station and she takes off before me as Pippie 2 comes in. Running these trails every weekend you learn how to run on the technical stuff. So I am in front of Pippie I and Pippie II is somewhere ahead. We hit the flat section of Nat Well and I see something I should not. It's Pippie II with Tim Pitt. He explained he had been walking since Alms House. I have dreamed of this day since McKay Hollow 2010. However, on my best day I could never beat him unless he had his worst day. Well...that very thing happened. You know some days I wanna choke him however I know he wants to see me succeed. He cheered me on and I pressed harder. Again, knowing the trails I was able to burn rubber down Nat Well and catch the blonde chic. Climbing Cry Baby hill I simply walk. I hit McKay hollow trying to distance myself the best I could however my manstrual cramps set in and coupled with slush mile it was all I could do to stay around a 12 minute pace. I reach the climb out to rest shelter and walk. You can freakin fantasize all day long about running Rest shelter...then reality sets in. I look back and there is the blonde chic, and the Pippies. 3/4's of the way up the Pippies pass me. Evidently they remembered me from the Chattanooga races and both thanked me for alway encouraging them and asking if they are Ok. That made my day. It sorta eased the pain of them passing me. We hit the top of Rest Shelter and Ed Blalack is there. I drink some water and start walking to the finish. Ed screams at me "Get to freakin running puddin tang", or something like that. So I run. At various sections I want to walk but I keep pushing. I look up and I see someone hit the ground. It's Brett Addington. NO WAY! I'm ahead of Dana, Christy, Fritz, Tim, Larry Lucas, Caitlin, Randy and now about to pass Brett. This is surreal. I never beat these people. I cross the finish line at 5:49:58. I can be happy with my time however, I cannot gloat about finishing before the people I listed. You see Mtn Mist is one of those races that can take down the best racers. I learned that this day you either had your best day or your worse. Mtn Mist was is no respecter of persons. If you go too hard the first may pay for it on the back 14.

Photo by Gelmis

It wasn't until I finished that I found out my buddy Patti Holmes fell on Alms House and broke her collar bone. I spent much of the race looking for her because just a couple weeks ago she spanked me at Recover from the Holidays.

The highlight of my day was the finish. The Pippies came over to me and gave me a big hug and thanked me again. I made some new buddies.

Photo by Gelmis
Photo by Gelmis

Photo by Gelmis

Photo by Gelmis

Photo by Gelmis

Photo by Gelmis

Photo by Gelmis

Photo by Gelmis

Friday, January 4, 2013

2012 Year in Review

Mountain Mist 50K-6/28/12

Photos by Gelmis
One of the souths greatest 50K's. Beautiful trails and great support from racers and volunteers.

Key Points

  • Finish time 6:08:04
  • Bettered previous year by 1hr 21min
  • Did not take a crap on the trails
  • Beat a bunch of people
  • Did not cry this year
  • 2nd time Running

Black Warrior 25K-2/18/12

Black Warrior is easy unless it has been raining. Well, imagine 20 years of horse doodoo-dirt-mud that is about 6 inches deep. The trails would suck the ever living life out of you with every step.

Key Points

  • Finish time 2:32:50
  • Bettered previous year by 6 seconds
  • Did not take a crap on the trails
  • Gave a guy the old "Good Game" while he was peeing. Did not know that was an illegal move
  • Watched John Herring fall in the doo doo mud.

Savage Gulf 26.2-3/17/12

John, Me, Tim, Marc
To date, this race goes down as the hardest 26.2 miles coupled with the most beautiful trails I have done. This is a race you should not miss.

Key Points

  • Finished in 7:22:23
  • Hard as crap-What the Freak
  • Most beautiful
  • Did not take a crap on the trails
  • Got delirious
  • Ran out of water
  • Quote from Marc Davis, "I ain't never been so thirsty"
  • Tim Pitt took 4th
  • Marc Davis 11th

McKay Hollow 25K-3/24/12

Me, Sarah, Eric, Tim, Heidi, Dana, Deb, George
Pics by Gelmis
McKay is probably the best 25K that you will ever do. Some say it is as hard as a 50K. Absolutely beautiful course
  • Finished in 2:56:45
  • CamelBak leaked red gatorade all over me.
  • Laughed at the 2 Pippie Longstockings in the beginning
  • Quit laughing when they beat me
  • Did not take a crap on the trails
  • Wife finished the race around 4:55 and said with a confused/delirious look "Do I still get a shirt?"

Oak Barrel Half Marathon-4/7/12

Me, Casey, Dana, Christy, Marty, Carol, Tim, Karen, Carey, Jay, Monica
Scott, Ashley, Suze, Eric and Casey
Pics by Gelmis
Oak Barrel was a beautiful Half Marathon. The Huntsville running community showed up in big numbers. The funnest part was beating David Rawlings, and the picnic.

Key Points
  • If you lift Marty's kilt you will see a Chia Pet butt cheek
  • Marty's butt is nasty

Twisted Ankle 26.2-4/12/12

Me, Tim, Eric, Casey, Usain Bolt chasing chunky kid with chicken
Twisted Ankle changed the course this year to include running Becky's Bluff twice. (for the Marathon) Heres how bad Becky's bluff is. I watched a guy quit, 4 miles into the run, at the top of Becky's bluff.

Key Points
  • Finished in 5:33:16
  • Becky's Bluff sucks
  • Did not take a crap on the trails
  • Ran up on a rattlesnake
  • Coached Casey Baired through the Half
  • Tim and Eric did not wait on me to finish and left and had a great bromance without me

Chattanooga Stage Race 60M-6/15-17/12

Will, Laura, Me, Blake, Tim, Tim, Sarah, Sarah, Scott, Dana, Kelly
In my opinion the Chattanooga Stage race is a premier event. 3 days, 3 mountains. A large group from Huntsville camped together and had a blast.

Key Points
  • I DID take a crap on the trails
  • Sarah Tierney thought we were lost and started to follow me on my crapexpedition
  • I beat one of the Pippie Longstockings (one stage)
  • People got stung by yellow jackets
  • Scott Schlapman got lost
  • Met Tony Scott...was initially scared of Tony Scott
  • Saw a guys nipples bleed like he was attacked by hatchets.

Georgia Jewel 35 Miler-9/22/12

Sarah, Scott, and Me
This race sucked....

Key Points
  • It sucked
  • Rolling trails
  • Rolling rock gardens
  • Did not take a crap on the trail
  • Saw a lady take a crap on the trail
  • I hated running while doing this race
  • I hated you while running this race
  • For real...nice trails, its just a hard sucky course.

Stump Jump 50K-10/6/12

Christy, Martin, Me and Megan
Stump Jump is an wonderful trail race. When you run this race you feel like you are a part of something big. Big climbs and descents with beautiful overlooks to the Tennessee River.

Key Points
  • Finished 6:42:12
  • Bettered time from previous year by 1hr 4min.
  • Buttload of people got stung by yellow jackets
  • Tony Scott ran his first unofficial/unprepared 50K. Started 45 minutes late and still beat people
  • Christie farted a lot.
  • Megan's first 50K
  • Stupid Beth and Martin beat me.
  • Kris Whorton hollered my name at the aid station
  • A guy in sandals beat me
  • Did not take a crap on the trail

Birmingham Stage Races

Me and Marty
This was the inaugural Bham Stage Races. I went expecting little and left very impressed. The trails were great and diverse. They stated it was a 50 mile race over 3 days....Wrong, 54 miles.

Key Points
  • 3 Diverse Trail systems
  • Very exciting race
  • Took a crap off trail
  • Hokas/La Sportiva

Huntsville Half Marathon-11/10/12

David, Me, Eric, Kathy, Melissa, Camille, Hollie, Allison, Jimm, Andrew
Rob, Some chic I don't know, and Tim
Pics by Gelmis
What can I say... the course sucks but it is a fun race because of the people.

Key Points
  • Pr'd for the 4th year in a row
  • Finished 1:39:53
  • Did not crap my pants before the finish line this year
  • I caught Ann Noble on Chaney Thompson...just like the previous RCM and she still beat me
  • 75/810 finishers...very happy about that
  • Hokas

Rocket City Marathon-12/8/12

James, Sarah, Me, Megan, Rmrbt, Kathy, Rob, Rick and Rachel
Pics by Gelmis
This year Sarah Coleman and myself lead the 4:40 pace group. I ran this race mainly to use it as a taper run for Lookout Mountain 50 Miler. We had a blast. Out of our group we had one young rockstar (Megan Shirley) start and finish with us.

Key Points
  • Sarah is awesome
  • We finished 1 min 15 seconds ahead of schedule
  • Did not crap on the street
  • Told my runderwear story to our group
  • Told my 2 massage horror stories to my group
  • Told my crap in my pants at the finish line stories to my group
  • Hokas

Lookout Mountain 50 Miler-12/15/12

Me, Tina, Duke, Dewayne, Alex, Janice, Luke, and Brandi
Oh my. This race was amazing from start to finish. I found my limits on this course then blew right past them. An accomplishment that still amazes me.

Key Points
  • Took a crap off the trail...
  • Had a guy run with me for a little ways that liked to talk a lot. I did not want to talk.
  • Amazing trails
  • Awesome aid stations
  • Kris Whorton...enough said
  • Michael Scott...enough said
  • Met Pig Tail Penny
  • Rock Creek
  • Brandy Hough talked to me for the first time
  • Hoka Stinson Baby

Recover from the Holidays 50K-12/31/12

Sarah, Ann, Jennifer, Suze, Diana, Allison, Jimm, Me, Rebecca
Olivia and Megan-Pics by Gelmis
This course is about as pleasant as watching your sister give birth (Unless your from Geraldine). However, the Scott's made the race. The aid station was great. Tony fixed us hot soup, hot chocolate, mm's, pretzels, samiches, etc. I learned that Mtn Dew is an awesome pic me up.

Key Points
  • Friends that won't let you quit (Christy and Tony)
  • Friends that depend on you to finish to help them (Megan)
  • Seeing all my favorite runners loop after loop
  • Pr'd 50k by 42 seconds
  • Blowing Snot Rockets
  • Gregg Gelmis
In 2012 I ran approximately 24 races and logged 1778 miles. I run for several reasons.
2009 before I started running
  • Want to look good for my smokin hot, sexy, gorgeous, patient, loving and blonde wife
  • Want to set a healthier lifestyle for my family
  • I run to be with you. I enjoy your company...well most of you anyway

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Recover from the Holiday's 2012

Photo by Gelmis
Christy-photo by Gelmis

Recover from the Holidays 2012 on the surface seems like an easy "Fat Asssssspirin" to run. It is not. The reason why is that the RFH 50K is a 3 mile loop with a hemorrhoid inducing hill that you do 10 times. I ran this race in 2010 and 2011, never going over 5 loops (plus the initial 1 mile). Imagine doing 10 loops of hard packed clay. I determined within myself to complete the race for 2012. This years race directors were Tony and Christy Scott and these honkers put on a nice spread. The race begins and for the first time in my life I find myself in the lead and there are pictures to prove it. Now at about 400' the eventual winner passes me along with about 20 more people, but that is not the point. I was in the friggin lead for a measurable amount of time. So kiss my butt. After the initial 1 mile we begin the 10-3 mile loops. My goal was to accomplish the race in about 5hr 30m. 
Will, Laura, James-Photo by Gelmis
Tony, Me, Alex-Photo by Gelmis

However, Mr. Taco himself Will Barnwell for some reason got it in my head that I could do a 5 hr 50K. So I begin the race with a pace under 9:30/mile for the first 2 loops. Just like a rookie I start breaking down because this pace is UNDER 5hr finish. Finally I settle around a 10 minute pace as Ann Noble passes me. What the crap Ann? I blocked the wind for you on Chaney Thompson during the 2011 Rocket City Marathon and and you body slam me that race and the next two. Well anyway....I am on my 5th loop going down the big hill and BAM! I hit the ground and did a barrel toe was throbbing like a pair of skinny jeans on Rosie O'Donnell. I just laid there for a minute. Tim Vinson ran by and blew a snot rocket on me and called me a sissy. As I now nestle in the fetal position I realize... "I have an excuse to quit...Friggin Yeah!" So I get up and began to finish the loop with all intentions on quitting. My toe was jammed up and knee was hurting. I may have trickled in my runderwear a little...not real sure. I knew once I got back that I must sell my injury or else I would get made fun of. I come to the tent and state "I'm out..." and begin to explain my tumble, toe and spleen pain...Christy looks at me and says, "You're not quitting". Tony points his finger back to the path...So I knew I had to ratchet it up a little. I laid on the ground and took my shoe and sock off and held my toe with a grimacing pain for dramatic effect. Unfortunately my toes were not disgusting enough and Christy tells the lap keepers not to mark me off that he's not quitting. Did she not hear the english words coming out of my mouth? I quit! So I got up and started out for another loop. During my display of pansyness Laura, Patty and Benj pass me. The last time Laura beat me was Mtn Mist 2010.  I usually beat  Benj and Patty. It's not that I was having a bad day...they were having a great day.
Loren & Patty-Gelmis
Eric & Benj-Gelmis
As I went down the big hill I hit the same freakin root on my big toe again. I yell into the air while I do that run where your nose is 6" from the ground but you never hit. I could not believe I almost busted in the same place again. This time whatever pain had diminished before the "Stumping of the toe from Helllllllens house", came back with a vengeance. This is where I really had to put on my big boy britches. This time as I return to the tent I grab a Mtn Dew and look delirious for a second. I hear Dana or someone try to encourage helped. I set out again. Not sure if it was the mixture of Mtn Dew with peanut M&M's and peanut butter crackers or what, but I start to get a little giddy-up in my step. The last 3 laps I turn it on and run the hills pushing to finish and close the gap with Patty, Benj and Laura. On the last lap I am pushing so strong that Dink Taylor recognizes it and tells me so. My toe, knee, pelvis and coin purse are all in pain but I was determined to beat my 50K PR. As I approach the finish I was pleased with my last 6 mile push and only regretted my whinefest and mind defeat around mile 16 which cost me approximately 10 minutes. Nevertheless, I finished @ 5:39:06 which was a 42 second PR resulting in 24th overall. 

Nose Pickers (Jimm, Me, Sarah, Stacy)- Photos by Gelmis
While I did good, I actually missed the real point of this race. Well at least the point of why I was really running the RFH 50K...It's about the people. Running with old and new friends. People who remember your name. I truly enjoy this community. Especially seeing new runners join and tackle the trails on Saturday's. As always, I appreciate the encouragement and fun we have together. May I beat you all in 2013!

To see more great pics of super cool people, click on the links below.

2012 RFH 50K Part 1-We Run Huntsville
2012 RFH 50K Part 2- We Run Huntsville
2012 RFH 50K Part 3-RFH Facebook
Diana & Allison-Photo by Gelmis
The Cantrell's-Photo by Gelmis

Casey & Robin-Photo by Gelmis
Debi-Photo by Gelmis

Shar-Photo by Gelmis
Rebecca, Olivia & Megan-Photo by Gelmis

Will, Carol, & Laura-Photo by Gelmis
Ann, Jennifer (aka No Clue) & Suze-Photo by Gelmis