|Mimicking Fritz's daughters pose.|
Dizzy Fifties is a great trail race on Monte Sano mountain that gives runners the choice of running a 50k, 40 mile, or 50 mile race. My plan for this race was to dominate the 40 mile in preparation for Lookout Mountain 50 mile. It was a beautiful November morning with a bunch of nutty people and one dude topless (not Marty Eaton). The race starts...I am running with Sarah Tierney (my nemesis) and David Bier (my hobbit brother). My goal is to run extremely conservative...soon we catch my brutha from another mutha Will Barnwell. Next I find my self in front of Kathy, Christy and Dana. All of a sudden somebody yells at me for causing a train. I replied, "I just trying not to poot on Christy and Kathy." Then I turn around and see Dana, and I say "And I can't poot in front of Dana" to which Kathy quickly replies. "Oh but you can poot on me and Christy (with her hands on her hips all sassy)? Well you see I know Christy and Kathy a little better and they've become like step-sisters too me. Dana doesn't yet know that I am a complete weirdo (a studly one though). Plus, I am still a little embarrassed about an event that took place at the Chattanooga Stage Races. You see the Huntsville crew had just completed Day 2 on Lookout mountain and I was topless with my nipple tape still on. I stated that I needed to take it off. Well Mr. friggin Tim Pitt says in front of everybody, "Let Dana take it off...(dramatic pause)...with her teeth." What the freak Tim!!! For once I was speechless and did not know what to say.
|Christy, Kathy, & Dana|
|Stage Races 2012|
All I could think about was Janice and Wayne beating the crap outta me and Tim. So Dana...not gonna discriminate anymore...I will be an equal opportunity flatulator. Well less I digress. To avoid a crop dusting the ladies run in front of me. My watch was showing about a 9:45 average mile for the first loop and during the second loop a 10 min average mile. I knew this was too fast but I felt great and my breathing was under control. So I decided to stick with it. At mile 20 is when everything went downhill. I had a brown snake playing peekaboo so I had to pull off trail. I don't know if it was the labor pains or what but my endurance quickly started dropping. My groin area and the back of my legs were tight and hurting. As I started the 3rd loop I could feel my pace dropping. As I begin the last 5 miles of the 50k, Mark Davis catches me to run it and then 4th loop for the 40. The south loop of the Dizzy Fifties course sucks. It sucks even worse on third time. Well all of a sudden some Elton John finatic squirts me with a water bottle. I turn around like I'm gonna do something and there running behind me is Tony Scott. Well of course I didn't do anything (I valued my life). So these guys are trying to pull me in...By the time I hit the dirt road I am broken. Feel like spewing, crying and watching "The Notebook" with Janice. I make it to the 50k finish and tap out. Marc Crooks was there to join Mark and Tony to push me through the 4th but I couldn't. You see I instructed them to call me names, make fun of me and beat the crap outta me if I bail on the 40, to which I am thankful they did not...well everyone disobeyed my wishes except for Tim Pitt. He had no problem making me cry.
I was very disappointed that I did not go out for the fourth lap, especially since I had 3 guys there to run it with me. The only saving grace is that I finally went under 6hrs on a 50k with a time of 5:39:56. Thank you Jesus that I did not get hurt. Seriously...I thank him. Especially after 4 knee surgery's. Thanks for reading my blog Will Barnwell. P.S. I'm ticked at Regena Moore for not giving me one of those luscious Brownie/peanut butter concoctions she had.
|Patty, Tony (My Pizza Guy) & David|