McKay Hollow Madness 2014-Pain in my Butt

I am going to describe someone to you and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to

your mind. Imagine an attractive young lady, $110 street shoes, $80 running pants, $65 base-layer, $65 running jacket, iPhone and key fob while running a grueling trail race....You got it! Street Runner with no clue what she is about to experience. Benj, Erin and I start the race and we are a little concerned cause Dink Taylor is about 20' in front of us. We look to our left and the young lady described above is "texting" while running and then drops her key fob. I look at Benj and say, "4hrs"!

Albino Polynesian Chic (Jay Crosby)

For the first time in 4yrs McKay Hollow Madness was relatively dry. Temperature was just about right and Ia am seeded 6th? I thought it was a joke, however I found out that out of the returning runners, I was actually the 6th fastest on record from last year. I know what you are thinking and you can kiss my butt.

So after running a 50 miler and a marathon, my plan was to treat this as a training run, however, that did not happen. When Blake said "Go", and I had a successful healthy poo, the racer kicked in. The race begins on the road to thin out the pack and shortly enters the single track before the descent. Down Sinks, then quickly up to Panther Knob. Often times newbies make the mistake of running the Panther Knob and Sinks climb only to suck the rest of the way. Climbing around Stone Cuts is always a highlight in this race however, I am always petrified of seeing a rattlesnake or a naked homeless guy in there. Around mile 5 we caught the skinny white guy wearing Jorts (bluejean shorts), who has the body of a 13 year old albino Polynesian girl. Thats what you get for calling out the HotWingRunner! We speed hike Warpath, fill my hat with water and push to the McKay Hollow descent.

Erin Looney
Photo by Gelmis

There are two ways to run down McKay hollow...fast or slow. If you run fast you better have a good dental plan. We are balls to the wall all the way down. We finally reach the Natural Well climb and continue the power walk on the climbs. Now at this point Erin is the lead Chic...we look down and here comes #2 pressing hard. She passes and Erin resists pushing her off the waterfall. Benj and I know Erin's potential and we urged her to push but she didn't. Once we crested the Natural Well (192' sinkhole) I told Erin to at least catch her and let her push the pace. So she left us. 

Me and Benj

As Benj and I weave around Arrowhead to the aid station and back to the trail leading to the well we see in the distance that Erin had overtaken the lady and was gaining a sizable lead. We take Arrowhead #2 and run as hard as we can to ensure that no one would catch us all the while pontificating about Thunder Rock 100. Benj eventually leaves me on the rugged and rooty lower Natural Well descent. So as in many races I find myself all alone and wondering who I would eat if left in a survival situation. Would a Hispanic guy taste like Mexican? 

I finally reach the famous Death Trail for a 1/2 mile climb to the finish. Just before the sharp cutback where you see the waterfall I see the #2 female. It's obvious she doesn't know the course and doesn't realize the finish is around 1/4 of a mile, so I surge. Just as soon as I passed her it happened! I popped a hemorrhoid out my brown eye. Wanna see the pic?

Scott and Chelsea

James and Pocahontas

Angie