Hot Wing Runner-The Average Ultra Runner: McKay Hollow 25K 2013-Mud Pie and Cheez Whiz

Rick Grief-Photo by Gelmis

I see a dirt nap coming-Photo by Gelmis

McKay Hollow 2013 began dark, cold and wet...and turned into my favorite McKay finish. Tony Scott outfitted me with a Salomon windbreaker and gloves before the start due to the cold rain. Close to 200 people line up and await Blakes "Go". We take off on approx. a half mile on the road to the trail head. We begin our descent down Sinks trail and the trails are covered in mud and water. All of a sudden I see a runner down and it's Randy McFarland. Next thing I know me and Eric Fritz are ice skating down a mudslide grabbing for trees to keep it from looking like we shiggity'd all in our britches. We make it up Sinks and Panther Knob through Stone Cuts. Picture this...running on the flat part of Stone Cuts it's Christie Scott in the lead (at least in our group) followed by Fritz and myself. Behind me is a dude with a perfect perm. So lets call him Perfect Perm Peter. Well P3 wanted to show Christie his smokin perm so he comes flying by me with 2 shoes on...by Fritz with 2 shoes on...by Christie with one shoe on. P3 passed us in a micro-lake... his shoe was at the bottom. Well he went snorkeling and got his shoe and passed us again. Anyway, we fly down Sinks towards three benches and up to Mtn Mist. I look up a little ways and P3 and Graybeard are on the wrong trail going out Sinks. I think to myself..."Self, if you let them go then thats 2 positions higher you will finish in.." Well of course I do the right thing. I push through Mtn Mist and do a run/hike up Warpath, blow through the aid station at the top. The South Plateau trail was a friggin lake. To this point myself and Doug Daniels are trading positions. He lets me by, knowing I can flat out-run his redneck butt down Rest Shelter. I am feeling great pushing through McKay Hollow and Slush Mile and I hear that dreaded thump and "Ugh". Ken Pfleger had dirt pie for a snack. I turn around and he is laying prostrate moaning...Doug stops and I keep hollering, "Are you ok!" I debate whether to stop or not then I see Doug helping him up. As I make it around the turn past the Death Trail exit I see Ken way back walking...So I press on. Doug catches me and passes me going up Natural Well. Again I perform the run/hike up. We make it past the sink hole and move up towards arrowhead. There was a dude in front of me and as he jumped over one of the logs crossing the trail his foot got caught on a briar and BAM, mud pie. I'm glad he wasn't looking cause I probably giggled a little. I finally make it to the Arrowhead extension and to the aid station, I blow right past it....Ok so we make it back on Natural Well before the SOB ditch.

"I Can't believe Cary beat Me"
Photo by Gelmis

I had just enough pee in my bladder to be annoying. A conversation with Brett Wilkes came to mind. He said, "if you having the race of your life and you have to pee, what do you do? Especially if it's raining, you could pee all over yourself and no one would know." I thought to myself, I am having a great race...It is raining....But I couldn't do it. So I engineered a plan. What if I pull my glow-worm out and run like a cowboy riding a horse, and wee wee while running? So I tried it...Something went wrong in the execution. I did not take into account the bolognee pony flailing wildly while running. Needless to say I sprayed cheeze-whiz all over myself. And once you start its hard to stop that thing.

Anna Edmiston-Photo by Gelmis

My stomach started hurtin a little and I was able to ease the pain with fratulence. Shortly after I turn around and Ken caught up with me. WHAT? This guy busted he knee-knuckles and was walking earlier, now he's passing me. As he passed me he said, "It smelled like Big's Ed's Pizza back there..." Guess what I had for dinner last night?

We make the turn down Arrowhead and as you get to the flat part it puts slush mile to shame. I was worried in the beginning about wearing my Hoka's instead of my La Sportiva's for the mud, however, they performed amazingly. I cut through Arrowhead and had to pray to God to settle my stomach...prayer answered. I began the ascent up Cry-baby hill and ran/hiked it faster than ever. I was feeling great. I reach Death Trail and do the same run/hike. It was amazing. I passed a couple of people going up and just kept pushing. I reached the stop and ran to the finish....2:49. I was happy. It seems I came in 20th overall (Jason Shattuck did not beat me). This was a big milestone for me on this race.

This was hands down the funnest McKay Hollow that I have ran. So many from our We Run Huntsville Saturday Trail group showed up and conquered it. Congrats to all of you.

It seems like I am forgetting something........Oh Yeah

I BEAT CHRISTY!